Representing and Presenting Whores...Or Is It Whos?

If you're easily amused, like us, these easily mispronounced domain names are worth a look. Penisland.net? Too easy. Therapistfinder.com? How about Expertsexchange.com? Or, what about our personal favorite: Powergenitalia.com? It's not easy to pick a site name, but writing it down ahead of time might be worth those extra five seconds. Then again, if you're a mayfly, maybe it isn't. Just don't be surprised when someone calls you asking what kind of whores you present. Read more...

7 Sinful Glasses to Toast With

Spending the holidays with the family is great and all, but eventually, somewhere between your mother's criticism of your new hairstyle and your brother spouting off about how much money he made on Wall Street - ok, maybe not this year - you'll want to make a run for it. We suggest therapy. Or, better yet, volunteering.

In the meantime, though, why don't you delight - or horrify - your family members with these lovely wine glasses from English designer Kacper Hamilton of Hamilton Design that were inspired by the seven deadly sins. Can you imagine drinking out of a glass that could easily puncture an organ? Or, are you feeling a little bit greedy with how much you could put back? Whatever your pleasure, these glasses certainly cater to the lustful, envious, and especially after Thursday's big meal - slothful - wine drinkers that we are.

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Guy + Pet X = Super Boyfriend

When it comes to choosing a SuperMate, look to their pet for clues. We just can't promise he'll have a super-you-know what.

What pet you own says something about you. Whether it's a cat, a dog, or a gerbil. If it's the latter it means your name is Richard Gere. Superheroes are no different. Here's how to tell which guy you'd most likely be attracted to in the realm of Mr. Fantastic.

The Cat

Cats have traditionally been connected most to women and shunned by men, but recently, men have started accepting feline friends into their life. So what does this mean for you? This type of guy is more likely to be sweet (though sensitive), appreciates both his and your independence, and probably won't have a hard time getting your motor to purr in the bedroom.
See: The Spirit

The Dog
Dogs are man's best friend. They're obedient, loyal, and cunning when it comes to getting what they want - which is usually, food. The same goes for their owners. They're pretty average sport-watching, beer-pong playing, frat guy type. They're easy to get in the sack and have boundless energy, but if you want to be pleasured, you've got to convince him there's something in it for him. Like Snausages!
See: Superman's Krypto



The Monkey
Those who fall under the year of the Monkey may supposedly be intelligent, but be a little wary of guys who have more than one to play with. Though they'll get off on making you smile, they're also likely to be attention whores and lose interest when they feel the earth doesn't revolve around them.
See: SpaceGhost's Blip


The Bat
These tiny mammals have a bad reputation for freaking people out, especially when they get caught in a newly-done updo. And the men who like them are no different - they're mysterious creatures who have no problem facing their fears, whether it be about crime-fighting or meeting your mother. They're also almost always up for a bit of kinky play behind closed doors and enjoy the strange and unusual, so you can stop worrying about your sixth toe.
See: Batman

The Aquatic Variety
Fish are cute. As long as you want a pet that you can't play with and doesn't do anything exciting like wrestle the other fish. Though dudes with fish do tend to be on the dull side, they also have to be attuned to fine detail and ready to adjust when things go haywire. And that's a skill we appreciate, whether it's a relationship or, more likely, during a one-night stand.
See: Aquaman



No pets
Sometimes people just don't have time for pets. They work long hours, live in places that don't allow them, or they're just not "animal people." We respect their choices and all, but just don't expect them to rearrange their schedule to make time for you or have endless amounts of compassion. Unless they're allergic. Then don't judge.
See: Iron Man Read more...

Film Review: The Spirit

This wasn't the ghost of Christmas past we were expecting, but at least he brought egg nog.
by Emmy Burns

Director: Frank Miller
Studio: Lionsgate
Rating: Shag

If you’re looking for a good date movie this season, The Spirit delivers the ultimate win-win situation. Plenty of eye candy for both you and your boy toy, badass women to cheer for, and best of all, no cheesy love scenes starring Jennifer Aniston.

Frank Miller continues in his quest to bring respectable comics to the silver screen in the way only he could - cue wild costume changes, fabulous makeup and the uber-stylized backdrops courtesy of green screen - and though unlike Sin City, 300, and the Dark Knight, was penned not by him but by the highly-respected Will Eisner, it marks his solo directorial debut.

The story follows the Spirit/Denny Colt (Gabriel Macht), who, after being shot to death one night on duty, is reborn as a crime-fighting superhero (and heartthrob) who sports a Zorro-style mask and Converse kicks. Finally, we have a superhero who takes fashion cues from My Chemical Romance. But his gothy getup works with the ladiesm and even though he gets more ass than a back of a taxi cab, he's not a womanizer...he just loves women. All of them. He's what Ari Gold has always wished he could be.

But the Spirit's got a major problem - his childhood love, Sand Serif (Eva Mendes), has grown up to be a seductive, powerful, jewelery thief and shares a special connection with his arch nemesis the Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson) that goes beyond having hippie parents who pick weird names for their kids, and it's the Spirit that's got to get to the bottom of everything, no matter how messy it gets. Where's Mike Rowe when you need him?

Rad: A whole lineup of strong, powerful roles for women. Eva Mendes's perfect delivery of lines like "Shut up and bleed" made us forget all about her role in the atrocious Ghost Rider. Scarlett Johansson as Silken Floss, the cunning, brilliant assistant to the Octopus and his imbecile henchmen clones who seems just slightly off her rocker. FYI - unless you want to see a puddle of drool in front of your boyfriend's movie seat, have him go get popcorn during the laboratory scene.

Sad: Hokey lines and Macht's use of a strange, Batman-like monotone in narration sequences.

In Five Words: We want the holiday Spirit. Read more...

The Cast of The Spirit Speaks!

The stars of The Spirit talk about stylish costuming, being broads, and getting a little too into your character.
by Emmy Burns

Recently, Bettie crashed the Waldorf-Astoria press conference for Frank Miller's new film The Spirit to corner notable actors Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson, Sarah Paulson, Eva Mendes, and the movie's star, Gabriel Macht and get their answers on everything important. You know, like makeup!

Scarlett, we've got to start by asking, have you ever had a boss as frustrating as Silken Floss has in the Octopus?
Scarlett Johansson:Well, I’ve never done anything other than be an actress. I’m afraid if I do answer that question I’l be you know, blacklisted --

Samuel L. Jackson:That’s right, because they will go through your resume to see who you’re talking about!

Gabe, the Spirit has a bit of an identity crisis when it comes to figuring out what he is. How did you tap into that?
Gabriel Macht: He’s a young cop who’s killed in the line of duty and got brought back to life eight hours later. He wanders the streets to figure out who he is because he could do things that other cops can’t. He doesn’t know why he’s like that. I think the real essence of who he is, is this man who has innate goodness and wants to return that goodness to the city. So when he hears the city screaming, he wants to squash the evil that exists and bring humanity back.

Jackson: When you see the “making-of” DVD of this particular movie there’s a segment when they’re interviewing Gabriel in his trailer... his walls are papered with The Spirit. I mean, everywhere... not just photos of himself! The comics, Frank’s drawings... drawings he made of himself! Even as infant child making drawings of The Spirit! Everywhere! His trailer was covered with Spirit paraphernalia! He was dealing with his identity crisis... all the time!!!

Frank Miller: And he slept with the mask on! It was really sad!

Some of the makeup and costuming is really unusual and also a bit different than the comic.
Miller: I worked hard on Gabe’s costume because at first it looked really foolish...until we spruced him up with the black outfit and every thing.

Eva Mendes: The fun part for me was definitely putting on the glamour. The core of this woman was pain of not having anything be stable in her life. A diamond is actually a "rock" and rocks symbolize stability. Once I found that foundation, then it made me realize where she was coming from. So I can go big and I can be as ridiculous as I wanted to be whether it was in hairstyle or action or wardrobe, as long as I was rooted in this need to fill that void. This takes place in one of my favorite periods – when women were broads and weren’t afraid to speak their minds.

Sarah Paulson: The thing I liked about the part was there’s not a single woman in this movie who was a damsel in distress. There wasn’t a single woman in this movie who wasn’t a strong woman and Frank changed my character a bit and made her a surgeon so I’d have a reason to be around The Spirit all the time, fixing him and healing him.

And the Octopus? His makeup is pretty wild at times.
Jackson: Scarlett and I shared a make-up trailer. So when I was going in the morning, they’d be making her up. And I’d look at her like, man, there’s some beautiful eyeshadow colors going on...I should try some of that! So I got my makeup artist to start experimenting with eyeshadow. And I would put it on and run to Frank! And he’d go, I love it! So from that point on it was just a matter of me running in and doing as much as I could to myself.

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Hot Guy of the Week: Gabriel Macht

This week, Gabriel Macht makes his second onscreen debut with the gorgeous Scarlett Johannson (the first was A Love Song for Bobby Long which is the only film we actually ran out and literally threw up in the middle of) in Frank Miller's so-so stylized comic adaptation of Will Eisner's The Spirit. And, though this 36-year-old Bronx native is a family man in real life - complete with wife and kids, as Denny Colt/The Spirit, he can't help be captivating by every human carrying the XY chromosome that walks by. And we can't help staring at his stunning physique as he glides - and occassionally falters - through Miller's spectacular world.

Coming up: He'll be starring as a U.N. investigator in yet another comic book adaptation - Whiteout with Kate Beckinsale. And you know what happened last time Beckinsale starred in a comic film? Her and her costar got naked. Yay!

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Barbie Gets What Was Coming To Her

We're not big on women being eaten, dissected, or worse, but when it comes to Barbie, we've got no qualms about it. Because while she may have not made us doubt our figure since 39"/19"/39" is just freakish, she did make us doubt our fashion sense and that's just unforgivable. And we'd like to thank Ken for prompting what was a more than awkward discussion following our first experience putting our hand down a guy's jeans.

So, in honor of Barbie's misdeeds, we encourage you to check out the work of Tom Forsythe, an photographer who became a real champion for the right of free speech once Mattel sued him in regards to his "Food Chain Barbie" project that exhibits her going buh-bye in all sorts of ways we wish were true. Read more...

Effing Adorable.

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Hot Guy of the Week: Pete Wentz

We love men who love their wives, and even though we wish Pete Wentz would stop loving Ashlee Simpson, he's still our hot guy this week. The Fall Out Boy toy has a unique romantic flair (how many grooms-to-be would throw an Alice in Wonderland themed wedding?) and a skinny-jean emo physique. But mostly we just want to jump him because he lays down sick bass tracks and runs a label (DecayDance) that's home to Gym Class Heroes, The Hush Sound, Cobra Starship, and Panic at the Disco. So, if we break up ... options!

Other projects: Wentz owns the New York/Chicago/Barcelona bar Angels & Kings, L.A. gallery Without You, I'm Just Me, and Clandenstine Industries. Sounds like a diversified portfolio. But wait. He's also an actor (Goodnight Moon — see video below), producer Bartskull Films, TV host (FNMTV, if anyone still watches that channel) and he cannot be killed with conventional weapons.

Recent quote: "We have an amazing sex life. We have such sexual chemistry. If we had been on this show last year, we'd probably be doing it in the green room right now." - From The Howard Stern Show

Catch him: On Fall Out Boy's latest album, Folie à Deux , released this week with cameos from Elvis Costello, Debbie Harry, and Lil Wayne!

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Photo Contest!

Do you have a sweater that makes someone want to hurl holiday cheer at you? Or have you seen someone in such a sweater recently?

Post your photos to our Flickr account and we'll share our faves! Read more...